Can’t stop overthinking? Hey overthinker — Stop doing that!

Can't stop overthinking

The overthinker

Are you a classic overthinker? You know… you have a simple decision to make, but you think it through for so long, you end up making no decision at all. You need to take action, but before you decide on the right steps to take, you run every scenario through your head. You tie yourself up in knots so tight that you can’t break free to move even one step forward. Continue reading “Can’t stop overthinking? Hey overthinker — Stop doing that!”

Why do we self-sabotage ourselves and how to overcome it

self sabotage hard road

Self sabotage is a very real struggle

Someone once asked me “Why do you always insist on taking the hard road.” I replied, “Why do you assume I see 2 roads?” As a coach and business consultant, I can easily relate to this mindset and I know self sabotage is a very real struggle for many people. Why do we self-sabotage ourselves so much?

This probably speaks to you if you’re someone who finds it impossible to break out of bad habits or destructive behaviour. You know you’re doing things you shouldn’t but you can’t seem to make better choices.

Running your own business requires an extraordinary level of resilience. There is no room for self sabotage if you want to be successful in the long term. There are enough challenges running a business on a daily and weekly basis as it is. Creating more hurdles for yourself through self doubt and self sabotage is a short cut to disaster.

Continue reading “Why do we self-sabotage ourselves and how to overcome it”

Goal setting… it starts with planting the seed

goal setting planting the seed

Have you ever experienced the feeling of achieving a really massive goal?

If I had a dollar for every time I’ve helped someone achieve a goal, when they’d initially told me  “I can’t do that”, I could retire tomorrow. What a nice thought!

Sometimes it was a small goal, like completing one full push-up or jogging 400 metres around the block without stopping. Other times it was something huge, like running a marathon, writing a book or starting a brand new business. Continue reading “Goal setting… it starts with planting the seed”

Unless you’re coachable, little can be achieved

coachable

The student must be coachable

I’ve coached a lot of people in my lifetime. I’ve conducted in excess of 20,000 coaching sessions and probably given over one million pieces of feedback. If there’s one thing I’ve learnt as a coach, it’s that little can be achieved unless the student is coachable.

I’ve coached everyday people, sports people and business owners. I’ve coached coaches and leaders. Many have succeeded beyond their wildest dreams. A few have achieved nothing at all. Continue reading “Unless you’re coachable, little can be achieved”

The Productive Procrastinator

productive procrastinator

Is there such thing as a productive procrastinator?

Hands up if you are a terrible procrastinator. Yep, me too! However somehow I am also incredibly productive so it got me thinking. Is there such thing as a productive procrastinator? I think the answer might be yes.

How is it possible that you could be very productive and a terrible procrastinator at the same time? I think it comes down to working to your strengths. And in my experience, that seems to be the key to productivity. Continue reading “The Productive Procrastinator”

A surprising revelation

I’ve got a little bit of a surprising revelation to share with you today. Are you ready?

You’re not perfect.

Ground breaking I know! Your partner isn’t perfect either. Neither is your child, your parents, your siblings, your boss, your customer, your colleagues or your friends. And neither am I.

Your environment is not perfect either and it never will be.

In some way, shape, or form we are all a little bit broken, damaged, bent, scarred, crooked, chipped or cracked. And in any number of ways, we will always have hurdles to overcome in our life and in our circumstances.

And that’s ok.

It’s all just part of the human experience and it’s the imperfections that make you unique. So instead of using your flaws as excuses, as a reason why you can’t reach your potential or why you can’t achieve the success you want, how about you embrace the ‘gaps’ in your not so perfect little life and learn to grow around them.

Have you ever seen a tree that has been planted on a concrete sidewalk or against a fence? When it outgrows the space it’s been given, it doesn’t give up. It doesn’t shrink back into the space it is supposed to be occupying. It breaks through it’s not so perfect environment and simply fills the gaps that are available. It finds the way through and keeps growing. Sometimes it grows into a rather hideous, ugly mess of roots and branches going in every other direction than what nature would otherwise expect, but it’s still standing and it’s still living and it just gets on with being the best version of itself that its surroundings allow it to be.

So this is just a reminder to embrace your flaws and your deficiencies in your abilities and your surroundings. Focus on those gaps and the opportunities that ARE available and grow into those in the best way that you can.

It’s time to re-assess your ambitious goals

Do you have big goals for your life? Are your goals based around something that you want to achieve or something that you want to have for yourself?

It’s time to scrap those goals and here’s why.

Hear me out. Goals are great. But here’s the problem.

Most people set goals based on some ambitious outcome that they’d like to work towards. A goal, by its very nature, is usually something that has not yet been achieved or something that has not yet been acquired. In setting a goal, there has to be some level of positive expectation attached to it.

A likely potential gain of some sort.

But that’s not always the case. Most people set a goal, make a plan and then they work their butts off to achieve that goal. They put in extra time and make huge sacrifices.

And the process of working towards that goal (whether or not the goal is achieved in the end) can result in stress, heartbreak, relationship breakdown, worry, illness or even financial ruin.

If and when that goal is reached, does it always bring happiness? The answer is no.

Why is that?

A goal in itself is not enough. The reason to work towards a goal is for what that goal is going to mean for you and your life. It’s not about the goal, it’s about the meaning that goal has for you; how it will make you feel to achieve it.

If you could wake up tomorrow and change everything that wasn’t working, everything that caused you stress, everything that upsets you and everything you’re doing in your life that you don’t like, what would that feel like?

The important thing to realise is that you must stop going after goals just because it seems like a good thing to go after or just because others are working towards that same goal. Instead of setting goals based on what you want to have, or what you would like to accomplish, set goals based on how you want to feel as a result.